昨天晚上在群里面看到了5月新的邀请又是会计90分的，虽然早已料到会是这样，但事实摆在眼前的时候还是会很难受。六月肯定也会是这样，除了不断调节自己的心态和等待似乎没有办法。

早上9点多一点我起来了，然后跟爸爸一起去报了驾校。随后回家我准备资产管理员的职位的面试。性质勃勃的与我妈一起赶去螃蟹岬，到了现场傻了眼。里面有好多人，而且看起来文化素质都很低的样子。我在那里大概等了十几分钟被带到一个小会议室，在座的大概还有五六个人的样子。结果我们被告知是催账的工作岗位，人家问我有没有兴趣，我十分尴尬。因为我本想抱着学习的态度来，可是面对这种情况我实在不好意思说出我很感兴趣的话来。接着那个类似于人事的人把我叫出去了，跟我讲觉得我不适合这个岗位，连简历也还给我了，建议我去找老师或者会计方面的工作。

这边完了我就想没事儿，还有一个面试可以去锻炼自己。我们坐了好久好久的地铁后又骑了很久的自行车，是个非常破败的地方，类似于农村那种地方，到处在修路不说，路人看起来也十分乡土。到了面试的地方已经快四点了，我进去那个办公楼后，看到很多人坐在一块打电话，现场十分嘈杂。我被要求填完一张表后就开始进行长达40分钟的等待。结果果不其然又是电话销售。说不心累frustrated是不可能的，感觉自己海外经验学历还有英文水平毫无用处，没有人看的上，真的很难过。明天早上有一个英文助理的面试希望可以比较实在。Stay positive。

It’s easy to say than do. I couldn’t help being angry at Dan Park and also couldn’t help staying anxious. My mom’s friend said that he would call me to work after public holiday, and it’s been the fourth day, I still get nothing. I kept whining and feeling sorry for myself, why is it like this? If they don’t want me just say no, why do they agree but do nothing then? Everything seems so falling apart and I want to get better but still don’t want to face the mess.

I couldn’t try to apply the jobs in Australia, coz it clearly needs two years working experiences, which I don’t have. I so wanna go back and start my new life. I really wish I could be luckier then I will start making wiser choices, and never waste time on the wrong people. I also hope I can be cooler and less anxious. Using these time to do self-learning, at least this is what I can do now.

Honestly, I’m so scared but I’ll try to clam down and be better. 我要相信自己可以跨过这道坎,就像原来一样。我要保持乐观,这样身体才能保持健康,皮肤才会好,正能量才会汇集过来。我爱我自己。

I got up at 9:30am, had breakfast and started checking information about visa 489, got confused by the meaning of nomination and invitation, then I asked a friend to check with his agent.

I also started checking some information about visa 482, turns out that it needs at least 2 years working experiences. I went to the job websites to look for some jobs that can do sponsorship, which are very little and many of them are high demanding, either CPA or CA qualified, or having working experiences from big 4. I sent those information to Dan PARK, and got no replies. I don’t know what to do, because it seems no plan B for me right now. Looking at those job descriptions, I just feel I am so noncompetitive. This is a big lesson to me. I cannot rely on anyone but me. The guy still hasn’t called me to work yet, and probably it’s not going to happen, but whatever, you really can’t put all your hope to others. It is suck to put all your hope to someone else, coz you will be disappointed in the end. Like my three years hopeless, ridiculous relationship, and it is counting.

Feeling sad and whining won’t make this shitty situation any better. I have to stay positive and pick up the time I lost to build up myself. It is really hard not to be anxious, but I gonna push myself to do it. Today is Day 1, and luckily, I still have my baby by my side, the sweetest cat.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton